:) no fancy dancy title.

I don't want to lose weight. I don't want to JUST lose weight. I want to get muscle. I want to be strong. I was looking at this site, it's pretty cool, it shows pictures of actual people at different heights and weights so you can get visuals on what it looks like.. of course I went to my height and looked at all the images of people from the weight I am now, down to the weight I want to be - looking at the images of the people at the weight I want to be, the first words out of my mouth, out loud, "Well I hope I'm a lot more muscular and strong than they look.. I wanna be ripped." hahaha! This journey is NOT just about losing weight, or fitting smaller sizes, yea that's part of it but if I got to my ideal weight and looked like a wet noodle for spaghetti, I wouldn't be happy with that either. I want muscle definition, strength, the ability to do things with my body I would of never dreamed of! I know that it's possible too. If I've learned anything so far on this journey, this time around, it's that your body is capable of so much, you just need to condition it to get there. I'm doing the 30 day plank challenge, in 30 days I hope to be able to do a 5 minute plank.. I'm working my body up to it, pushing it a little more each day, getting myself prepared to do the 5 minutes.. if you slowly ease yourself, push a little harder each time, your body gets stronger.. As I said about my supreme 90 day program, the first time around it was torture, the second time? It's still torture, but I can deal with it a lot better. I can push myself now, when in the beginning even trying anything was pushing. Now I can count reps, now I can force more, and if I started it all over again, I bet I'd be even better.. as I continue I'll get better. If your goal is to do pushups do one today, two tomorrow, three the next day and keep going.. over time you'd be amazed at how many push ups you can do!

This morning I decided to look up the correct amount of fruits and veggies per day I should have, as well as what my caloric intake should be and what my protein intake should be for the workouts I'm doing. - aside from NOT tracking like I should be doing, I KNOW I'm not meeting these goals, and in the long run it will only put more problems on me. So from here on out, I plan to document, to be accountable for everything I am consuming. I'm going to take pictures of everything before I put it into my body.. at the end of the day I hope to blog about everything I consumed and the value it's given me, I know it will get tedious, but it's truly the hardest part of my journey right now and I need to correct it.

My current task is to find different things that will help to up my protein.. my fruits and veggies I can do - but according to what I looked up, the protein I should be getting is not even close to what I am!!

Wrapping this blog up, but I am hoping to get another one in this evening! :)

~XO
Erica♥

Just a few GOALS!!

Goal clothes! Or as I like to call them, my non weighted goals. I have a pair of Levi's that come up my thighs, over my butt & ALMOST close, but not quite.. this is my current jean goal - fit these, get another pair of jeans I can wear, & being able to fit my other jeans even better!

 

 

Another unweight goal, is this sweater dress.. I got it at Kmart, on clearance for like  2 bucks. It's an XL, I have always loved the look of sweater dresses but have never been able to wear one comfortably because of all the obscene curves I have. My goal is to be able to fit this comfortably (& Cutely) by October 1st.. that way I can enjoy wearing it almost all fall long :)

I plan to take pictures of me in this dress NOW and then pictures in the dress again on October 1st so show the difference!!

 

My current short term goal weight is 280lbs, which would be a 20lb loss from the start, after that my next goal will be another 20lbs loss to 260lbs. My long term goal weight is to reach what is considered 'healthy' for my height at around 158lbs. At which I will have a BMI of around 24 which is considered 'normal' for BMI's.

 

I do have 'before' pictures, they were really depressing to look at, even though they are of me NOW, I wont share them until I make significant progress and compare myself to them and feel proud that I've come so far, so be on the look out for those sometime in the future ;) lol!!!

 

~XO
Erica♥

 



Jam Packed.

So I couldn't decide whether I wanted to do my update in multiple blogs or one really long one, Well - I've decided to break it up into several different posts to come throughout the day and maybe even into tomorrow depending on how ambitious I am.

 

 

First things first, I did slack off for a few weeks, and almost stopped altogether I got so frustrated with myself. You get to a point where you have basically stopped the journey all but in your head, and it's just so easy to stop it there as well - but I didn't. I made the choice that this time around was going to be different, I wasn't giving up, and especially not without one hell of a fight. I want to be healthier so badly I can taste it, I want to look better, feel better, be stronger, run, jump, play, and be able to kick anyone's ass!!!  So this time, there is no giving up, even with a few slip ups.. not that I want to but if I have to restart every time I get off track I will, as long as it keeps me focused.

 

This leads into my June Schedule I have created.. I haven't wanted to share it without anyone because I don't want people telling me it's too much, it's not to much.. it's several DIFFERENT types of workouts that will help me succeed in different things, at the same time all helping me to lose weight and stay focused.. I didn't want to share it because I didn't want someone telling me that I'm setting myself up for failure by piling on so much in one month. No I'm setting myself up for freaking awesomeness! & If I do get off track, I'm still not failing because in case you missed it, I'M NOT GIVING UP!!! I'll just create a new extensive month plan and start again, until I can do it.

 

June consists of:

 A 30 day plank challenge, starting at 20seconds reaching a 5 minute plank.

Starting Supreme 90 day over, from day 1 to day 30.

Beginning the C25K program to start running.

& am/pm yoga.

 

Monday, Wednesday & Friday consist of Supreme 90 day, plank challenge & C25K

Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday Consist of Supreme 90 day, plank challenge, & yoga

Sunday is just supreme 90 day, & plank.. & both of those have rest days on their own..

 

Yes. It's crazy. & So am I. :)

I needed something drastic. I needed something...

 

Let me just say, yoga is amazing. After working out, and getting my muscles all knotted up, the stretching & muscle pulling (the good kind?) that goes on with yoga is absolutely amazing! Especially my Pm yoga, I might have to make that one 2 days a week instead of Am.. the pm yoga makes me feel soooo relaxed and good. It's amazing.

 

This month I opted for the plank challenges, next month will either be a push up challenge or a squat challenge and I'd like to look into even more 30 day challenges and have one each month. I might redo the plank challenge again with one leg, each side, each day. It's def. fun and compared to my other workouts doesn't really take very long.

 

Another point I must make, because to any of you feeling like you aren't accomplishing anything, to any of you feeling like it's still SO hard and not getting easier, I assure you it is!!!

 

I started the Supreme 90 day program, at the end of April - beginning of May, I did the first 12 days, which include 2 rest days.. now I didn't do them consecutively.. there were a few days I skipped workouts and just jumped in where I had left off, and the first time I did Tabata I had to redo it (which you know if you've read my blog, was hell on me LOL) So it was more like 2 - 3 weeks worth of it, just spread out. Anyways, 12 days and then I slacked for a few weeks, restarting this month I have done the first 2 days with a day of rest and I can tell how much better I am at it now compared to the very first time!!!

 

The first workout was chest/back.. the first time through, I did as many reps as I could while the people on the dvd did theirs.. when they were finished I just stopped. This time around I paused the dvd and got the exact amount of reps in that I was supposed to. A lot of it is 8-12 reps, whatever you can do.. on circuits of 2 or 3 times through depending. I pushed for 12 as often as I could, but I was so proud of myself for that alone!! Wow, change is happening in my, mind & body and it's all for the best! Change may not always be right in front of your face noticeable but if you are trying you are changing.. I couldn't believe it when I did the first two days and I got through them easier than the first time.. now don't get me wrong I am in no way a master at it yet, but I have nothing but pure hope and will power that I will someday be a master at it ;). It's given me so much faith in myself and my health!

 

Patience and Persistence is the key to this journey!

 

^^^^^^^

 

It really isn't supposed to be easy. It's supposed to include failure, pain, & hard work, those are the things that build success, strength,  & endurance.

 

To anyone who doesn't have any faith that I can accomplish what I want, who think I'm all talk, and no follow through - I assure you, I will prove you wrong, even if it took 1000 times of not following through, all I need is 1.

 

To those who support me, who are giving me encouragement and in some cases even guidance, I will make you all proud & amaze you. Because you deserve that for believing in me.

 

& To anyone who just doesn't care? Well whatever, my goals don't waver just because you couldn't care less, this is about me and the person I want to be.... that doesn't NEED approval or denial.. it just needs me.

 

~XO
Erica♥

Thoughts....

Last night right before I went to bed I was writing a blog post, in my head - I doubt I remember even half of it but here goes.

I have come to the determination that living a healthy lifestyle is much harder than even I had thought and I already thought it was pretty hard. I thought it was hard but easily do-able, hard only because of missing the things you would once binge on and killing your body when you workout. But in all actuality it's much, much more than that. I have been on this journey for a month and 7 days. I have even written about how off track I was and how I was going to refocus. I did, for about 2-3 days. Then life started getting in the way again, the kids, running around, family/friends visiting whatever. It's not just that it's hard on you, it's that it's an entire awkward fit into your life when you start. You must fine time to workout like you find time to pee (which, as a mom I can say sometimes THAT is far in between) it's awkward because when you go from a life of sedentary activity where you didn't need to worry about fitting it in, to wanting to be better you realize that it takes even MORE time from your day than you get.

I want to workout.
I want to eat healthy.
I want to feel good about myself.
I want to be strong.
I want to be confident.
I want to show myself that hard or not, I am capable of this....

Last night I was debating re-starting my 90 day supreme. I have missed days here that weren't rest days, and done half workout there when I should have completed it to the best that I could. If I restart it now I may be able to help myself salvage this journey, but I fear that if I keep trying to go on the program when I have already made some terrible choices with, I might just continue the path of making those bad choices.

I weighed myself this morning, I was a little afraid to see that number, when I saw that it was 291.0, which is further down STILL from the last time I checked and have probably only worked out twice since then, it made me want to keep going all the more.

I will fall 10,000 times, and I will struggle to keep getting up. At the end of the day, I realize that messing up, getting off track, and the many other roller coaster of emotions and actions through this journey are what makes it so completely worth while when you succeed. Not only for the body you want, or the healthy lifestyle you want, but I can honestly say when I drop the weight I want to or get the strength and stamina that I want to... I will feel like a warrior.

I am doing this to become a warrior. Mentally & Physically, I have no choice but to succeed. Even if the only time I do it 10,001.


~XO
Erica♥




P.S. I know this post sounded similar to my last one, but idc.. I am staying accountable no matter the situation and I MUST get myself back on track some how so I can continue making progress....

Goals, & being at war with myself...

Weighed in this morning at the same as last week, I'm not sure if it's because I was slacking so much or if it's just because the scale hates me... but I need to kick it into gear. I need to get on track and stay on track and be completely serious here. I don't want to get myself in the same position I was in last time I lost weight where I just stop, for whatever reason... I want to accomplish my goals!

 

New goals: To fit my boyfriends pajama pants comfortably. He has like, an entire wardrobe of all different kinds of character pajamas, or cartoons or movies or WHATEVER. So one of my goals is to fit his pants.

Run a mile.
Run a half marathon.
Do AT LEAST 50 push ups.
Fit Ej's PJ pants.
Long term goal weight, 160lbs.
Short term goal weight 280lbs.
Get to onederland.
Reach BF% of 33%.
Fit my non weighted goal jeans.
Complete supreme 90 day.
Own planking.

Creating goals, so I can plan to kick their ass & accomplish them.

 

Mentally, I'm so ready for the changes, I'm ready to put in the work, I'm ready to put me first - but then, there comes a time when I feel exhausted, or too busy, or just like I want junk food, or like it's okay to cheat myself.. I need to figure out where these thoughts are coming from.. I need to figure out why I have to fight so much with myself, for something I KNOW I want so badly...

~XO

Erica♥

The difference between a set back & failure;

Getting off track a month into the journey is never good.

I feel defeated lately, I've gone more days without working out than I have doing it. I haven't been tracking (which we all know is one of my biggest issues regardless). I attempted to start a workout the other day and stopped in the middle of it, then went another 2 days without working out. I feel self guilt, anger, frustration and most of all emotionally ridiculous that this is so hard. Obviously, if it were easy all people would be on the journey to being healthy & we know that's just not the case.. it takes a certain type of person to push through to achieve what they want especially when it comes to health and fitness.

There is a difference, I need to put that into my head in cement. I make mistakes and lose focus but I still want for the same goals I always have and I still have the drive to push forward towards them.. this is the main different from my past. In the past, I would let this set back screw me. I'd stop blogging all together so I didn't have to be accountable for my slip ups, and I'd continue on the lifestyle that hasn't gotten me anywhere but uncomfortable in my own skin.. I know I've said this before but I feel like I can't stress enough.. failure can either make you or break you. If you fail & accept that, then you have given up, you have failed and let it go.. I've done this.. if you fail and get pissed, angry and motivated, you have decided you are going to achieve the dreams and goals you want - but you accept that you have to work for it. This is what I am doing now.

 

 

Yesterday I sat down and searched for more healthy easy breakfast Ideas and wrote them all down, I also wrote down a schedule I want to begin. Continue supreme 90 day the way I'm supposed to, but I also want to plan to do yoga 3 days a week, and start the C25K program which starts off at 3 days a week. Alternating between the 2.. I'd like to do C25K Monday, Wednesday & Friday, Am yoga Tuesday and Thursday and Pm yoga Saturday... that leaves Sunday to either just working out with supreme 90, or take a rest day from all..

 

Today I plan to look up healthy snacks to pack each day for work and even healthy lunch options to eat when I get home from work as well.. Then my focus will go towards healthy dinner ideas for the family. Tonight we are having grilled chicken mixed with broccoli pasta & cheese sauce.. maybe not the MOST healthiest but definitely not the worst either.

 

 

Working out today whether I like it or not, actually, you know what? Working out as soon as I finish this blog post. No excuses, no putting it off.

 

Supreme 90 day, Tabata Inferno - it is going to KILL me, and then it will be done until next time ;)

 

Always remember, it may be hard, it may hurt, it may be a pain in the ass.. but if you just DO IT, then it will be over & you can move on.. each day I need to tell myself this, just do it, and it will be done... till next time ;)

 

 

 

~XO

Erica♥

 

Weigh In, Ultimate Ball & Different workouts...

Today was weigh day, and after going three days where I was literally unable to sit and pee in peace throughout the ENTIRE day, let alone workout I wasn't too sure how it would go.

 

So I weighed myself last night after my workout so I wouldn't be too shocked this morning if there wasn't much of a change, or if there was a bad change...

 

Weigh in(this morning): 293.2 :) That's a 3.4 lbs loss this week :) 6.8 lbs lost all together now since I started about 4 weeks ago :)

 

I did my ultimate ball workout last night (FINALLY) and I have decided the changes that have happened so far are amazingly stellar. The first time around, when I did the ultimate ball workout, I felt like I was dying, I remember this specific workout I was so emotional through, the last time. You have to understand, I.am.clumsy. I have very weak balance, I run into walls, I trip on my own feet, I constantly end up with bruises on my arms and legs from literally running into random things. So working with a fitness/stability ball, it takes A LOT of effort from me, it takes more balance and STABILITY then I think I even have. But this workout was better, still trying, but not as emotional. I didn't feel as weak doing it this time around and I had a clearer head. I really didn't want to, I even posted an entire status on facebook complaining about not wanting to work out. Then I did it any way!! That's life.. and before I knew it, it was over, I was done and I felt WONDERFUL!  

 

Sometimes working out is a chore, it IS a task, sometimes lazy and relaxing sounds better.

SOUNDS, being the key word, because it wont be better, it wont make you feel better, it wont help you be better, it's not better. Get that work out in, you will love yourself even more for it!

 

I'm glad that I lost a few lbs this week, it shows to me that you are allowed to falter, you are allowed to struggle with this journey, it's okay! We all get busy, we all have SOME lazy days... but like the quote says "you didn't gain it all over night, you wont lose it over night either" Same applies to a few days, you wont screw up all the progress you've made in a day or 2 as long as you jump right back on track, it's when you screw up a day or 2 and then decide to keep screwing up until you've gained the weight all back & feel awful.

 

 

So I thought it might be fun to poll any one who reads this, leave a comment & tell me what you do to workout? Are you working a program? Do you just use dvd's? Do you do your own thing? Run? Gym? And if you've tried multiple things what has worked best for you, or what do you like more?

 

Just for fun :)

 



 

~XO

Erica♥

Off track...

Ugh.

The last 2 days I've missed workouts, not for lack of wanting to, but I have barely been able to sit down and BREATHE let alone workout, or blog. My mothers day was much more of a mothers scare than anything, my 8 month old decided she would pull my wax warmer right on her head, WHEN I HAD IT ON! AHHH. I was terrified, the kicker is she's not even crawling yet... she must have pushed herself over there backwards then turned herself around and started playing with the cord.

I honestly didn't even think about it because I didn't realize she'd make it over there.

She's okay though, mostly just scared both of us.. it was very traumatic.

Anywho - I will be getting back on track today. I miss my workout. It's still Ultimate Ball time & tomorrow is tabata workout - blast you tabata!!

A great example of struggle.. after a 2 day detour off course, I could just give up.. I could just stop and say nevermind.. but I wont... a few bad days does NOT mean this is over, it does NOT mean I should or will give up. It DOES mean I will fight to get back on track and I will fight to continue - I have changed from the person I once was, I want this more than I ever have before.. and I know it's attainable, I just need to allow myself to attain it!

I think I'll be setting up my printer sometime tonight or tomorrow so I can start printing out my yoga/running schedule to put next to my supreme 90 schedule :)

~XO

Erica♥

Staying Motivated - Highly Recommend

So a friend of mine tagged me on facebook with this, and I immediately ran with it, grabbed a pen and my notebook and start jotting down ideas.

 

1) Set Goals:

• To be able to "drop & give me 50" or more...
• To sweat MORE!!
• To reach a BF% of 33%
• To run a mile

 

 

These are my starting goals, (not including weight related goals that I have) for most of these, it's only a starting goal.. when that is accomplished new goals will be created, but I feel that should go without saying, when you conquer your goals - you don't just stop/quit/give up.. you create more!!!

2) Plan:

• Work on strength training, keep using and complete Supreme 90 day, and continue with other cross fit type workouts to build muscle and strength. So far I went from being barely able to do 2 girly push ups now I can do almost 10. it's a slow process but the more I work the better the results.
• Pack small snacks to curb appetite at work, when grabbing something quick and unhealthy like a candy bar would've suited me better in the past. Apples & peanut butter, energy bites, grapes, oranges.. fruits pre portioned out and tracked already before I leave the house in the morning.
• Water, water, water!! Drink it up!
• Make healthier family choices for dinners and in general when grocery shopping! It will help keep me focused AND get my family eating healthier foods as well.
• Make a point to practice yoga 2-3 times a week, either am or pm yoga to help build my balance and over all body flexibility.
• Start the C25K program to begin running, stick with it.
• My body fat % is currently 40% which is extremely high.. a woman of my age and height should have a BF% of 21-33%.. my starting goal is to get to 33% which would be a healthy range... from there I'd like to get to 21%.

 

 

3) Set Reminders:



• Get lots of post it notes to post all over. Reminders on the fridge, on the door, on the tv, even on my computer!! Any where I'll look in case I forget to do something or really don't have the mood I'll do it anyways!
• Creating an inspiration board, I've already been told I should do that and I agree, if not more than one! Print out pictures, quotes, thoughts, anything and put it in a visible place to look at and reflect on often! Place sticky notes on it with goals I have achieved to remind me to keep going!
• The cell phone thing is perfect for me, setting alarms, or reminders on my phone at certain times a day or to remind me of my journey.. definitely doing this as often as possible (probably going to do this to remind myself to TRACK, TRACK, TRACK!!)

4) Visualize:

This one is going to go along with starting a meditation time a few days a week. I'm not delusional I know I can't run every day, work out everyday, yoga everyday and meditate everyday.. I HAVE 4 KIDS!! LOL.. But if  I set a goal of 2-3 times a week for yoga and possibly the same for meditation I have a better chance of sticking with them both. During meditation times I'd like to reflect on my journey and my goals as well as life in general.. this journey isn't jut for my physical body and health I'm making it a full life focus.. to reflect on everything, stay positive, stay healthy and be the best mother, woman and girlfriend I can be!! :D

 

 

Today is my Ultimate Ball workout, I'll be getting some of my fruits ready for freezing for the week, along with trying to sit down and do some serious research on healthy dinner ideas for this week :)

 

~XO

Erica♥

 



AM Workout, & tracking feels impossible!

I took the day off yesterday from working out. My leg day the day before was so hard on my knees they were killing me! Not a good sore, a bad painful sore.. so I took the day off in hopes that they would feel better by today & they do :) The amusing thing is, I missed working out yesterday, I felt like a blob because I didn't...(who could have seen THAT coming?!?!) so this morning I set my alarm for 6 am, my daughter woke me up at 530 hungry lol so I got her a bottle and got my workout gear on!! I did my working out at 6 am this morning. Sure there was complaints, I hadn't even had coffee yet! I was still too sleepy, my body wasn't awake yet.. but I decided that THIS particular morning - my mind would be stronger than my body & I was going to work out, and BAM that's what happened. Dripping sweat before 7am was in it's own way very liberating! I also drank near 2 bottles of water already this morning, *GASP* before my coffee, SCORE! Took a shower and am now letting myself wake up fully. I already feel productive today!!

 

 

Don't get me wrong, I am by no means saying this will happen every day. Especially with tomorrow being the weekend, I have off, the kids have off, sleeping in is almost a MUST.

 

What I am saying is working out at all different times of the day can be a great thing on your body. I feel more awake now than I do almost any morning, I feel alive and ready to eff this day up!!! If you can't work out till late at night, early in the morning, lunch time, dinner time, WHATEVER JUST DO IT!  

 

I have been dropping the ball on tracking again, UGH!! I don't know why that damn book is so hard to keep up with. There are apps I could use, I have a small little pocket book that you can take with you and an actually paper book I can write in, THIS SHOULDN'T BE SO HARD. I might need to set alarms on my phone at intervals to remind myself to be tracking!

(I really need sticky notes... a lot...)

 

I made more energy bites last night & for the first time I made protein bars!!! They smell delish, but oh lawdy they called for A LOT of protein powder lol. Pictures to come..

 

 

Life gives us all sorts of things to work through and to over come, living an unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle is just another one of those things. You wouldn't give up on your family or your kids just because things got a lot harder, you owe it to yourself not to give up on YOU just because things get hard. This journey takes time.. I had my own reflection the other night and I've been openly saying I can FEEL the changes already, but when I look in a mirror it's easy to get discouraged.. it's easy to want to say what am I even doing this for??! It will take time, but it is worth it, I believe that in my heart of hearts. When I can look in that mirror and feel not only happy with what I see, but feel the strength and perseverance that got me there?

 I am unstoppable.

You are unstoppable.

 

 

& Here's a picture to really think about, I saved it to my computer last night & wanted to write something about it, but I think self thought for each person is different, this image is powerful to me because I have felt controlled by food, I still do - it's a struggle & someday it will turn into something I wont even have to think twice about...

 

~XO

Erica♥

 

 

losing myself...

 

 

Weigh day!!!!!! DUN DUN DUN... lol So the # on the scale said, 296.6 WOOO 2.2 lbs loss from last week at 298.8. And a 3.2lbs loss since I started! Totally awesome, so happy to finally being seeing some losses!

 

That's not even the most astonishing! I took my measurements this morning as well, & first of all, I'm left wondering if I didn't take them wrong when I first started? because one of the numbers says I lost 7 inches! Around my bust! My cup size still feels the same, but it's quite possible I lost it off my back...? Or I just screwed up? lmao either way I'm gonna go with it any way since I have no way of knowing. So total lost inches, in 3 weeks as of tomorrow

17.75 inches evacuated!!! 

WOW! :D all this soreness is paying off, and I feel it. My body feels tighter, it feels a little more comfortable to get dressed and I have a little more confidence. And that's all in 3 weeks.

 

Even if I didn't lost 7 inches in my busy and I ignore that body part all together I still lost 10.75 inches which is still something to be equally proud of :).

 

Did my cardio challenge last night.

I hate burpees

I hate mountain climbers.

I hate bear crawls.

I hate jump lunges.

LOL. These are the hardest on my body and make me feel like jello when I'm finished. & by hate I mean will learn to love, conquer and accomplish full sets of.

 

My girly push ups are getting better, I need to switch over to regular ones soon.. & maybe, just maybe I can make push ups my bitch!!!

 

Today is a 'legs' day. From the things I've seen and read, leg days are usually pretty rough.

I was still sore from shoulders and arms last night, and this morning I'm all over sore from cardio so hopefully as the day goes on I can loosen up my muscles a little.

 

~XO

Erica♥

 

 

Just do it...

Yesterday, at the beginning of my workout I realized things are getting tougher. The first few weeks I was completely amped about working out and changing my body, being healthier, being the best me! And for the most part ALL of that is still true, the change? I am no longer as amped to work out. Last night as I was getting my dvd set up for shoulders & arms on Supreme 90 day, I was dreading it and hoping it would be over the second the warmup started! I stuck through it, did the whole thing and at the end, wished I had, had heavier weights!!!! THIS is my point...

 

Working out can be addicting and in some cases can even be fun, but when it becomes a chore or something you really wish you could avoid, you NEED to know that's your mind begging you not to push your limits. Once you start, the momentum will help to keep you going, the hardest part about working out is deciding that you're gonna do it! Lace up those sneakers, throw on that sports bra get you gear on, your battle gear - because for at least 30 minutes to an hour you will be fighting for one of the hardest things you've ever lost... yourself. It's worth it.

 

 

 

Coming from someone who's heaviest weight was over 300lbs I can honestly say leading the sedentary lifestyle shoveling garbage in my mouth as I please is in no way a 'happier' way of life then kicking my own ass day in and day out. On most days, I can go all day planning for that workout, looking forward to it in a sick and masochistic way, knowing I'll dread it, knowing It will hurt knowing I will want to run the complete opposite way when it starts, and feel fully accomplished and GREAT afterwards. (once I can breathe again of course).

 

 

Tomorrow is my weigh day, and I'll be taking my measurements. Not looking forward to the scale, but looking forward to the measurements! :)

 

I  tried on several pairs of jeans that don't fit me, 2 I can get up over my hips & butt without being able to button, one or both of these may be the goal jeans (picture to come) I also have a pair or two that I can't even get up over my hips, so I have goal jeans for a little while now!!

 

Cleaning out my clothes today anything that doesn't fit is gonna go expect for goal clothes, which is limited to just a few pieces.

 

My Supreme 90 day workout today is 'Cardio Challenge'  - I guarantee it kicks my ass.. this one will probably be a toughie like tabata we'll see!!

 

Side note: I need some protein shake recipe's I tried one the other day & loved it but looking for variety! Also making protein bars today I think?  Hmmm :)

 

~XO

Erica♥

FOCUS! short & sweet :)

I missed my workout yesterday.

 

There are no excuses. I feel blah.

 

So I woke up this morning and was going to attempt to do the workout I was supposed to do yesterday, this morning and then the workout I was supposed to do today this evening.

 

That was a lot harder then it sounded in my head... I was very ambitious I even started my workout, did the warm-up and started the main part.. then I let my head convince me I couldn't do it. DAMN HEAD. It was hard, to wake up first thing throw something in my stomach and then start working out - but it could be done, I let my mental self discourage me from doing it. So now this afternoon I'll do yesterdays workout & just keep progressing forward. One bad hour, one bad day, one bad week none of it has to be the end, it's just a detour. Get back on track!!

 

 

~XO

Erica♥

 

Tabata & shoes!

That's right! I did the Tabata Inferno yesterday & completed it :) There were times I had to stop for a second, there was LOTS of water breaks during but I kept pushing through, I kept working the circuits as best as I can and now I can look forward to getting better at it when it comes around each time in the next 86 days. ;)

Bought my first pair of workout sneakers yesterday. Unfortunately, they're technically running shoes, but when I went looking all I saw were running shoes.. but they were the most comfortable I wore them around the house all morning to help break them in a little before my workout later :) I really like them and it might actually encourage me to start the c25k program sooner than I had planned.

Becoming a runner, and enjoying running has been a goal of mine for a long time. I can't explain it other than I KNOW I could fully enjoy putting ear buds in, lacing up my sneaks and going out for as long as possible just letting the world fall under my soles.

I never spend this much on shoes ($60 on sale!) But a) I wanted to treat myself for starting my journey back up and b) it's for a good reason, I need to get healthier & these shoes can help that journey.

 

 

I have learned in the last few weeks, that the journey to a healthier me is filled with tons of emotions. I have been more emotional, not able to hold back tears, unable to just pretend like I don't feel things. But in the same stance I have also learned that the best parts of my day mentally, are always after a workout. I can be emotional, moody, near tears for NO reason - I get a workout in and I am floating the rest of the day. Feeling good, sore, happy, positive, playful. I love it.

 

Today is Shoulders & Back in Supreme 90 day, and I must say I'm looking forward to it!!!!

 

~XO

Erica♥

 

 

Struggling....

Tabata Inferno = FAIL! No, = BOMBED.

 

So tonight my workout was the Tabata inferno. Okay so this workout is done in 4 minute circuits, with either 2 exercises repeated  4 times or 4 exercises repeated twice, 20 seconds of exercise, then 10 seconds of rest.. after each circuit you get a minute of rest before the next circuit starts.

 

Wow.

 

So during this, I did jump squats, mountain climbers, jump lunges, high knees, bicycle crunches, & other things I can't remember the name of right now LOL. It was so hard on my body, I was worn out 5 minutes in. I had to take a lot of breaks and was slow getting into positions almost immediately. Things like this feels like such a set back, the kicker? I couldn't/didn't even finish it. I ended by hyperventilating and having to make it stumbling to my bathroom and sit in my tub with my shower running ice cold water all over me, fully clothed. It was scary, and so upsetting. I've been feeling so much better lately, more energy. tighter body, positive, happy and more confidence... a set back like this makes me so pissed at myself. I wanted to finish, I wanted to push through. I thought the Ultimate Ball workout was the hardest workout, and I pushed through that!!! How could I not keep going?

 

So obviously, moving on to day 5 isn't going to happen, tabata & I will go rounds again tomorrow....Hoping it doesn't end up the same way....

 

 

 

I also need to do some research into why the last few times I've been working out, I get a POUNDING headache during, which makes it even harder.

 

On another note I tried to make some No-Bake Energy Bites tonight, I thought I had finally gotten all the ingredients I needed, Until I started looking for my oatmeal. I couldn't find it ANY WHERE! I don't know what I did with it, or if I somehow left it at the store... I was so agitated, I was really looking forward to making a batch of these to try after my workouts, or even before. So now tomorrow I need to go get some more oatmeal so I can finally whip these puppies up.

 

 

So exhausted tonight, my body is sore and my spirit feels defeated.. licking my wounds and then getting the hell over it and moving on.

 

 

~XO
Erica♥



This post is like an ADD nightmare.... LOL

I'm getting better at tracking. Even if I don't look up everything's nutritional info, I at least write EVEYTHING down.. I'm becoming more accountable and definitely making better choices of what I eat.

Yesterday was rest day on my Supreme 90 day program.. I was looking into other workout programs as well, and I am anxious to try others.. a few on my list are

Brazil Butt Lift
Hip Hop Abs
Les Mills Body Combat (Looks like I'd feel like a badass when finished)

& I'd LOVE to be able to work myself up to Insanity.

Matter of fact, Insanity is my goal program. I want to work through all of these programs. That may sound crazy? It probably does lol.. But being only 3 days into the 90 day program, I think I'm in love. It came with a little calendar that tells me what days to do what, and I bought some stickers to put on each day as I complete it.. I feel SO motivated! I also have a yoga dvd I'd like to incorporate from time to time in the morning or evening. I'm really ambitious.

As I said, Yesterday was a rest day & boy am I glad I decided to take the rest. I hurt more THIS morning than I did yesterday morning & I didn't even work out yesterday, so it's all still from the 'Ultimate Ball' workout.. wow. I feel it in my core and my arms. I thought I was in the clear when I felt fairly okay yesterday but last night I started feeling it even worse!!!

On another note, I will be getting paid soon, & seeing as how ALL my bills are paid for and we don't need anything right now, I plan on buying my first really good pair of workout shoes. Now Obviously, I don't want to spend a fortune but I realize that quality is going to be a bit pricier than I usually am on shoes, the question is - I'm not sure what to look for? I THINK I need a cross trainer, right now I'm mainly just working out at home, and eventually I'd like to start running but not ALL the time. So I have to do my research on that and find a place that sells quality shoes without as much of the cost? Hmm...

Also! I am ordering for the first time ever, protein powder :O who am I? lmao! I never fully understood that stuff.. but some of the protein snacks I want to make ask for it PLUS I want to get into making my own health smoothies and I've seen that MOST recipes call for it :) Looking forward to making my no bake protein bites this week once I finish getting everything I need :)


It's not going to happen over night. You wont throw away all the food in your house & replace it with healthier options. For me, it's been very slow going, but sooner or later maybe even a month or 2 from now I'll be able to say that I keep all the ingredients for healthy meals and snacks on hand at all times!


~XO
Erica♥

Weigh in, Booty, water, goals ;]

I feel awesome this morning!

Let me start by saying that a friend of mine at work was super awesome & gave me some workout dvd's that she had lying around (You're awesome!) The two programs she gave me are....

Supreme 90 day

This program is basically a more generic and cheaper version of p90x, still gets the job done though right? The first day's program was a focus on chest & back. I was in heaven, after starting two weeks ago and having my legs feel DEAD, it was nice to get some upper body in. I pushed through the entire 31.9 minutes of the first day!!! When it ended, I was so proud of myself. This coming from someone who has tried to work out alongside many workout shows on youtube, or on tv & usually has to stop or sit down during it and most times NEVER finish it. BAM!

 

Day 2 is the 'Ultimate Ball' with one of those big workout ball things? So I think as a small reward to myself for being able to start and push through a dvd set, I will pick one up today?  Actually looking forward to it this evening!

 

The other set she gave me is....

 

Brazil Butt Lift

 I am so excited to start this one! I even thought about cross training this & the 90 day one at the same time, but first I want to make sure I can stick with the first one & not give up without pushing myself a little more. But this one will be fun, or at least it looks like it will. The set comes with a nutrition guide, a guide to tell what kinda booty you have and has cards that explain some of the tougher moves. WOO :)

 

I think I also might purchase hip hop abs also, to use when I finish one of these.. I think my head might be more ambitious that it should be right now but I don't care, I'm excited about this, and about seeing my body transform!!!

 

So last night part of the chest and back work out I did involved  A LOT of push ups, as we all know those are on my fitness bucket list. Push ups are the devil, I don't know if it's because it focuses on lifting your body weight, and mines pretty high? Or what but they have been so hard on me, even last night when I was supposed to be doing regular ones I was doing girly ones hahaha, BUT I felt like I was doing them better & my form was even better than before! So maybe, just maybe next time I need to do push ups I will try them regularly and see what happens....

Me too T-Rex, me too.....

 

 

Another side note, is that their should be a danger sign on water. Yep. A danger sign... Because ever since I started drinking so much I feel like this

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Seriously though, I do. I have been CRAVING water, If I haven't had any in like an hour I MUST pop open a bottle & guzzle. The other day I felt like I was dying of thirst I was craving it so bad. It's a great thing! But I did not realize that I could go from someone who almost NEVER drank water and in 2 weeks of forcing myself to drink, working up to 4 bottles a day that I would get to that feeling.

 

 

Today was my 'official' weigh day.. I officially lost a lb from 2 weeks ago when I weight in. 298.8 :) It's really not what I was looking for but I can feel the effects on my body and in my mood that I already have from working out. I'm going grocery shopping sometime this week as soon as I have the time and stocking up on all the yummy healthy foods. I have a few recipe's in mind & my inspirational friend Jenna has informed me that I can pre-make breakfast sandwiches and freeze them to heat up in the morning :D so that's my goal, get healthy foods, pre-make breakfast foods or rely on smoothies, and start to change my diet. Hopefully the scale starts to change a little more with a change in diet ;)

 

~XO
Erica♥

 

P.s. Obviously I failed at getting my non-weighted goal up hahaha, I will though asap! :)

 

 

Lacking workouts, breakfasts, & mental to physical focus

So the last two days have been a flop, I have some how managed to find excuses not to work out. Yesterday morning I did 20 minutes of yoga, but that was it, & my goal was to get in another good workout for the day. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for me to just GIVE UP right here. I missed two day, the scale has been teasing me, up 2 lbs, down a lb, up 4 lbs.. I don't get it. But this time is different... this time it isn't JUST about losing weight, it's about toning up and in the last few weeks that I've been working out most day I feel tighter, I feel slightly leaner, my legs feel stronger it no longer takes all my energy just to get up and walk up and down stairs - It's so nice that I have decided a few mishaps will happen, no workout for two days? Learn from it & push through. Tonight will be a prime example to me about how even though I'm busy I can fit in a workout.. I work till 3 & then sometime this evening is my kids open house, plus I need to cook dinner and help with homework & get them situated for bed.

 

It's going to be a task.

 

I just need to keep my focus, it doesn't  matter if it's the same time everyday, it doesn't even matter if it's the same workout everyday, I just need to get back to it before I slip completely.

 

On another note, I have made a new grocery list! A healthy grocery list, I'm planning on stocking up on lots of fruits, I can freeze a lot of them & eat them frozen, or use them for smoothies. I'm also going to try and make healthier overall family choice, wheat bread instead of white, lower fat options. I'm not only concerned with my health and well being I'm concerned with theirs too!

 

I've also been looking up a few breakfast recipes, I need to start fitting a breakfast into my morning. I have been on this journey again for almost 2 weeks and I think I've eaten breakfast maybe twice? It's not going to help my cause to have my body starving most of the morning (& I don't think coffee is a viable nutrient to consider). I looked up different breakfast ideas last night & unfortunately a lot of the things I saw looked delicious, but also like it would take some time and energy to make & I am NOT a morning person, I mean - much more than my boyfriend- but not a morning person nonetheless lol. So to start off I might start off with breakfast smoothies.. :)

 

Last night I found printable workout calendars I'm going to print out. I want to use them to keep myself accountable and get moving on busting my ass.. There are a few different workout things I want to do.. So I'll be thinking about what exactly I want my regime to be for now & get it printed out on a calendar and posting it right on my front door!

 

Mentally I am still fully on focus with all of this, it's just physically I need to keep my body in motion so change can happen...

I'm ready for change!!

 

Note: I need to get my non-weighted goal up. Goal is to get that done today!!! :)

 



~XO
Erica♥

 

Fitness to do list, yesterday's workout & SPRING CLEANING!

So last night I realized how much fun working out can truly be, even when I'm dying during it! lol

Started with:

+

 

First let me say that this time around, my kids are much more involved with me working out.. Last time I was on this journey I got a gym membership to a local gym in the area, so most of my working out consisted of going to the gym after I put them to bed. This time around, I have MORE children and less money so a gym membership is out of the question. At least for now. Because of this I had to learn to adapt to working out at home, something I have usually been very uncomfortable with unless NO ONE else was around, well that's all changed. My kids are now a big part of my workout routine, they watch me, join me or run around and make me laugh while counting with/for me on how many of whatever I've done.. I love it, truly. They are not only going to see my transformation but be able to say that they were there almost every step of the way.

 

To top it off, My boyfriend decided last night after watching me do ^^^ that, that he wanted me to find him something - since I couldn't find anything I liked as much as my circuit, I told him just to do that one... So after what I already did, I did this again...

 

(minus the push ups, those things are a big B lol), with my boyfriend and our 3 kids. It was amazing. I loved working out as a family. Even if it's something that doesn't occur ALL the time - it's better than nothing and I know I have tons of support from my clan!

 

I've been thinking a lot about body image, and how I need to accept my body at whatever size or strength it is... I remember as an adolescent I hated my body, looking back I had a WONDERFUL body - it proves to me that if I can't learn to love my body at any size then when I reach my goals I will still be unsatisfied. I am all for pushing myself to the limits and always finding goals to achieve, but I never want to feel as if I wont ever find that self love within myself. I have decided to go through my closets and dressers and start to donate clothes I don't fit. When the time comes, and I am down to a size that works, I'll get new clothes... but keeping clothes I haven't worn in YEARS simply because of the 'hopes' of being that size again SOMEDAY, it's just not working for me any more. Of course I'll keep a few pairs of jeans and maybe some shirts, to make goal clothing throughout the journey, but for the most part I plan to donate it, the same goes with clothes that fit me at my biggest, I have some jeans that fall off me because they were when I was a bigger size, they DEFINATELY need to go too. Besides, it helps with my spring cleaning ;).

 

 

Fitness To Do List:

• 60 second plank
• Become a runner
• Push ups 

 

I have decided to start a fitness to do list, things that I'd like to be able to do eventually, some may take a while and some may not - I'll add things as I go through this journey. I feel that incorporating many different types of milestones to pass in all different aspects keeps it exciting, and something I have to do. Weight goals, fitness goals, health goals, clothing goals, all of it will keep me focused and accountable for my actions.

 

I choose me.

My health is important to me and my children.

My physical body is the only one in this life I have.

My physical ability will help to strengthen my mental ability.

I am strong.

I will prove it.

 

 

~XO
Erica♥

 

 

 

Short & Sweet, plus a project!

So yesterday I skipped my workout, but not because I didn't want to. I think I tweaked my knee a little the other night so I wanted to rest it up for a day before getting back into things. But the night before last, I got in my Wednesday workout circuit, the arm circuit & I watched the beginning of part of the 'Hip Hop Abs' thing off youtube... I definitely need more cardio! As much as the strength training things make me feel good, cardio is what is going to push my limits. 5 minutes in and I was dying...

 

Still not eating the way I want to, but I make myself feel better about that by putting my grocery list together that includes much healthier things, I plan to get fruits and freeze some of them. Tracking is still a struggle - but I am determined to track one way or another. The water is still going strong though I am getting a minimum of 3/4 bottles a day which is equivalent to 6-8 cups of water (the recommended amount is 8 cups a day)

 

I'm not going to get a long blog in right now since it took me much longer to wake up this morning then I wanted it to LOL.

 

I do want to share my art and crafts project though:

 

Even though the scale has NOT been my friend, and I realize there is much more to this journey than losing weight I still want the number on the scale to go down substantially and I believe it will, so I created this...

 

I've seen many different versions of these and loved the idea so I decided I would do it too! There is a pounds lost and a pounds to go jar! The pounds to go has 120 lbs in it, as I loose each pound a pebble will be transferred the next jar. All the supplies were bought at the Dollar Store so it was very cheap to make and gives me a fun visual on this journey!

 

 

~XO
Erica♥

 

 

 

Worked out today, love the greater sense of self...

Hello my darlings! For once I'm blogging not too early in the morning, or even too late at night - It's right after work out time!! So first and foremost I want to say that I have held up most of my goals as of lately, keeping focus on drinking more water and it's becoming much easier to just want water. I know it's hard when you first start drinking it and you aren't used to it.. it doesn't have a taste, it's bland it makes you feel like a whale with all the uncomfortable water bloat, etc... but honestly the more you drink, more often the better you feel! & The more it becomes natural. If I can manage to make MOST of my liquid intake per day water then I'm happy with that and as of lately I've been accomplishing just that! YAY!

Today, finally, I have been tracking everything I've consumed. I don't understand why THAT'S the hardest part of this.. I can manage to workout for AT LEAST 20 minutes a day, but I can't manage to track? I need to get my shit together. Working out without knowing how many calories I've consumed in a day... Of course it helps either way, for now.. going from an almost completely sedentary life to workout out at all. IT IS SOMETHING. I'm not downgrading that - I just know eventually when my body starts adjusting to work outs, it wont do me any good not to track what I'm eating or how many calories I'm consuming so I can then figure out how many I'm burning when I work out and know what's what. So this stays on the goal chart, and I'll do my best and hope that I can get with it.

We're gonna skip over the ACTUAL food I've been eating, all I can say is, I've been on this journey (again) for about a week... it will take time to completely overhaul what my diet consists of. But, I'll get there ;)

On another note, can we say PINTEREST? Wow. I have found tons of motivation, workouts, foods, inspiration... I'm in fitness heaven on there lol. It makes me strive even stronger.. I want to reach my goals, I want to feel and look good, I want to make bitches jealous with my fabulous body and healthy lifestyle!! I'm in love.

So today's workout consisted of :

 

+

 

+

40 Crunches

 





I hate when I do a workout but then feel like I should of done more after I'm finished.. I think it might be because I need to add some cardio to the regime. Most of what I do is strength training, so if I add some cardio then it would be one well rounded work out :)

I want recipes for protein bites or bars, for pre & post work out snacks. So.... fire away!!

To end this blog I want to point out that everyone reaches that time when they have had enough of dealing with the negative part of themselves. I bring myself down too much and feel as if I can't accomplish the same things other people can. I don't know if it has to do with my adolescence where I felt as though I could never measure up or if it's just from feeling like I was never enough. But either way, I am truly my own worst enemy, but this time, this journey, this whatever you want to call it - this time I am going to succeed. I'm going to get to the weight I want, the body I want. I'm going to bust my ass and focus, and work out, figure out which foods and work outs will benefit me most & most of all, I WILL become the runner I have dreamed of being. Sooner, or later I will be able to run, for fun, any time I want.

 

Side note; Tomorrow is 'weigh day'... well I've been weighing every day and it is just pissing me off because it's fluctuating SO much. Tomorrow morning, whatever weight I get I'll mark it - more or less, I'll stick with the weights Wednesday mornings and it is what it is. & I'll lay off the scale the rest of the week! Maybe...

Damn SCALE!

 

 

~XO
Erica♥