*;I'm afraid to even attempt to ride rides @ an amusement park, or carnival. I can't enjoy them with my kids and share those memories because even though I haven't attempted in over a year to get on one, I'm pretty positive that it would result in utter embarrassment.
*;I change my outfit about 3 times on a consistent basis, before i leave the house. Hoping that with each new outfit i put on, I will somehow look magically thinner.
*;I have a fear of leaving the house. Like I'm some hideous monster, simply because of the comments, snickers & stares. I know I'm big all the time, but it's even more apparent to me when i feel like I'm a sideshow freak.
*;I hate to go shopping for clothes. Trying on a size which is already too large IMO and having THAT not fit you.. is not my idea of a good time. Seeing clothes that i can completely fall in love with & then realizing they don't have it in my size. Shopping is definitely a big disappointment..
*;I hate to eat in public, at a restaurant or even if I just grab a snack item at the store. I feel like people are looking at me and thinking "Like she really needs to be eating that" or "Wow, I bet she's loving that food" While laughing.
*;I despise having to go into my kids school, for events or meetings. Not because i don't want to, i more than want to! I just feel like an embarrassment. They are only 5 & 6 years old, so i doubt they have feelings like that.. but I still feel it for them.
*;I know that I'm a pretty girl... but because of my weight I'm seen as ugly. I look in the mirror and see my face, my hair.. If that were all of me my self esteem would be amazing.. but then below the neck it ruins everything.
Weight as of today ♥;; 320 lbs
