Day 54*; Zumba, Goal Jeans & Thanks!

The thin within

It's actually starting to come out. Obviously, not fully because I'm still a big woman. But I actually felt thinner today! This could be completely mentally, but I like to think it's not. I feel thinner, I feel better, I feel prettier. Today I got dressed & I was like I can tell I've lost weight. I didn't know when the day would come! I honestly didn't expect it until I had lost 50+lbs and people were telling me all the time that I've lost weight, but it's an amazing surprise. It boosts my confidence in such a big way, it's hard to believe. I'm really proud of myself for starting this journey, and even though I've had many ups & downs already in such a short amount of time, I will keep pushing through & seeing progress and hopefully get better and better living a healthy lifestyle!!

Daily Meal Photos

Ok as far as daily meal photos, I've learned that when I take them, I track them & I post them. I do really good usually those days & I'm proud of myself for even being able to keep up with staying under caloric intake as well as accomplishing my goal to track & document. Days that I don't day pictures, I don't track & obviously don't post photos of my meals. UGH! It's such a damn cycle. I want to track, I think of tracking & documenting. But then I make something to eat & I completely forget the picture and from there I feel like what's the point. I try to track, but once I miss a meal, or two I'm like WHAT'S THE POINT?! When clearly, there could still be a point. I could still track, go back over what I ate. Write it down, track the calories. Even with photos I could go back and take a picture of the empty container it came in, or packages of what was used. There's really always some way. But I get lazy, and discouraged and that's it. I give up. I could really kick myself for that. I need to just, DO IT. That's it.

STOP BEING SUCH A FAT LAZY LADY AND TRACK YOUR FOOD, DOCUMENT IT, IT HELPS YOU KEEP YOUR CALORIES UNDER CONTROL, IT HELPS YOU MAKE SURE YOU'RE EATING ENOUGH. JUST DO IT DAMNIT.

Zumba!!

I just started my daughter in a new dance studio, she's been in dance the past two years but there were problems with finances this year so they couldn't open on time. I didn't want my daughter to miss out on anything, as well as the fact that there were many things I didn't agree with last year. Anyways, Tonight was her first night & guess what they have zumba!! 3 days a week! I'm so excited, I'm gonna be going! I love it. I've done it before but didn't stick it out, I wasn't on a weight loss journey so eating write wasn't what I did & I only had a class once a week and figured what the heck is that going to do for me? But at the dance studio, it's 3 times a week for an hour. I'm eating better now and know that exercising and eating right in combination can be an amazing thing to a lifestyle change!! I'm super excited. & I think, to treat myself for the 20lbs lost, I will buy some cute workout wear, to wear to the zumba classes! ( : They start next week I think, I have to look a bit more into it & my mom wants to do it with me! So, I also need to find a sitter. I will def. Keep you guys posted on that!!


Goal Jeans

I tried these bad boys on the other day, They are still tight & breathable but I didn't let it get me down. I just keep my head up, and eye on the prize. It will happen soon enough I'm sure. Then I'll be posting all about my wonderful goal jeans fitting comfortably! woo! I also found a second pair of goal jeans which I will blog about & add a picture of once I fit into the current ones!

COMMENTS!COMMENTS!COMMENTS!

I really can't express enough how much I love getting comments! I feel so giggly when I sign on & it tells me I have new ones to approve! How awesome are all of you?! I'm so proud to have readers like you guys, and to know that you guys read what I write is something that helps to keep me coming back here!



~erica♥

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1.03.01

So long 20lbs, hope I never see ya again!

This is going to be a short post, I wanted to share some thoughts.. but I will post today's meals tomorrow morning when I update. I don't know why but lately writing in the morning seems to be the key to staying blogger friendly lmao. Anyways, As I stated this morning my weight is now 302lbs which of course, I've already begun doubting. "Oh it was just fluctuating that low this morning", or "The scale may be wrong" Anything to not let myself get too excited. I really need to understand why I do this to myself? Why can't I just enjoy the number I see and let it go? Ugh, anyways.. That means that I have officially lost 21.8 lbs so far in my journey!!! I started in the beginning of July at 324lbs & now I'm so close to being out of the 300's I can taste it!! 20lbs may not seem like a huge deal when i need to lose 4563546345 more, or to people who have lost 100+lbs already. But to me, it's epic & gives me some motivation to keep it up! I wanna giggle like a little girl knowing I can be out of the 300's within the next 2 weeks or so!!!! I also have been taking more body pictures of myself when I can, It seems to help me boost the way i view my self image. It's like telling myself yea, I'm big but SO WHAT?! I'm working on it, and I'm freaking beautiful! So I leave you with my latest body pic, from last week taken at my therapists. ( I know right? What a freak, taking pictures of myself at my therapists office! hahahaha I don't have a mirror that I can take body pictures from, so I gotta do it where I can!)

I definitely feel like this picture emphasizes my fat stomach haha.

~erica♥

Day 51*; Weigh day♥ :O & yesterdays food!

Bagel thin, tbsp peanut butter, 1 lg banana, activia strawrberry banana

Healthy choice microwave meal, SO DELISH!

100 cal pack!♥

All lettuce salad 2cups, half a piece of steak, spritzer ranch vinaigrette

100 cal, yoplait delights (I have to be honest, I thought this would taste better than it did)

I stayed under my caloric intake yesterday, but way under, about 500 calories. So today I'm aiming to get closer to my goal of around 2000 calories. That's what several websites told me I should be eating. I didn't feel starved though, and I had a handful of sunflower seeds before bed that probably added some on there. All in all a good day. Still didn't work out at all, other than cleaning my house and what not. I really need to get back into it. I miss that feeling so much of "Ahh I'm all sweaty and feel like I'm gonna dieeee, this is amazing!" hahaha

I'd say i had a good day yesterday (:

WEIGH DAY!!

Today is weigh day! & I weighed in at a beautiful 302.2lbs!!! I really have no idea how the hell I managed to lose FIVE POUNDS! But wow, 3 more lbs to go before I'm out of the wretched 300's & never looking back!! I'm so excited! ( : I'm really gonna work hard this week for this! I can freakin' taste this victory!

~erica♥

Passing out an award!

So I had two bloggers give me an award this week! MY FIRST EVER BLOG AWARD!! I am so thankful for this & appreciate it to the fullest!! Wow. I feel like I should have a speech prepared for winning an emmy! LOL ♥♥


The Rules for this Award:
1) Post who gave you this award
I have 2 lovely ladies to thank for this award. Lyndsay @ Thinspiration & Megan @ Status MIA - Thank you so much!! It means so much to me to know that people are reading! People are there, watching my journey. My good days and my bad and all the crazy ups and downs in between! Thank you again!!

2) State ten things you like

• Dallas Cowboys Are you ready for some football?! I sure am!! I have been freaking waiting for this football season so grace us with it's presence & I am a complete Dallas fan!
• Shopping, I am a firm believer in retail therapy. If I'm mad, sad, frustrated.. I can take my happy ass to the store & shop myself into a better mood!
• The Fall Season, OMG!? I went outside yesterday, and felt the wind whipping around my face, I got a slight chill and I about screamed with joy! Long sleeve T's & jeans weather is here! Long walks listening to the wind, sitting on the porch drinking my hot coffee & contemplating life in such a peaceful head space. Freakin' amazing!
  
• Lazy days, where I don't have to clean or run or stress about much of anything. I have very, very few days like this & when I do I feel amazing!
  
• Being Mommy. Actually I love this. My kids give me a thousand reasons to be a better version of myself everyday. They make me laugh and think of how much love I can hold for two tiny little people. Simply amazing.
  
• Laughing. It's the most amazing thing ever! It lights up the soul & disregards any realities that can burden a person. Laughing makes the heart smile. I love to laugh for long periods of time, when tears are coming out of my eyes and I can barely breathe!
• My shows, ALL OF THEM (Big Brother, Army Wives, True Blood, Vampire Diaries, One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, Life UnExpected, Drop Dead Diva, Huge) I don't always get to watch them when they air, but I eventually catch up on them online when I can. They let me slip away from reality into worlds not typical in average life.
  
• COFFEE!! Oh.my.lord. I am a huge coffee addict. Even with my lifestyle change, this is something that will not budge in the slightest bit. My day is thrown off when I don't have a cup of coffee at least once throughout the day. Mmmm!!
  
• Getting Mail. Not in the bills sense of mail, but cards, or letters. Even when I purchase something online I get so excited anticipating it's arrival. When friends surprise me with letters or cards especially when I'm not even expecting it, I get so happy! I know this may sound a bit odd but in a day where email has taken over and technology (cells, texts, emails, IM's) has taken over it's not very often I receive mail.
• Texting. duh! My cell phone is like my lover, I never go anywhere without it, I use it to talk to anyone & everyone. It keeps me connected lol

3) Give this award to 10 other bloggers and notify them with a comment

1. Whitney @ Slimming Down for the Gown
2. Alexia @ My Wicked, Wicked Ways
3. Crys @ Bigger Than My Body
4. Kristen @ Kreating Kristen
5. Sabrina @ Life Is Not Always Black & White
6. Syl @ LIVE, SMILE, RUN
7. Pam @ Plump Nonfiction
8. Gilly @ something something something, Fat Chick
9. Jessica @ Rotund Revolution
10. Carolyn & Gina @ Two Fat Girls on a Mission
    

I adore you guys & your blogs! All of the blogs I read give me motivation♥
Keep up with the blogging!!

~erica♥

Day 50*; Homework & Working out

I woke up this morning & decided, logging & change is needed at least in the food tracking department. So this is my declaration to logging calories AND taking pictures of my food! I'll be posting pictures of my meals yet again, this time, I don't have a time frame, it will be until I feel like I am tracking down my calories with ease. So I will be posting almost everyday again to post my pictures & update all you lovely people! :D

I was doing my homework last night, when I realized I really dislike school sometimes. But I do my homework because it's the road the bigger picture. I hate doing it, but I like to learn and I really can't wait until someday when I'm finished I'll have my degree & look back at all the hard work I've done to reach that point. My weight loss journey is like that! It's hard, I have to work hard at it, keep pushing myself but in the end it will be worth it! So I'm going to start trying to think of my weight loss journey when I'm working on homework & realize that I need to do what I need to do to get the things I want in my life!!!

Be back to update ya'll on my meals later tonight (: Have a wonderful day!! Life is truly an amazing gift!

~erica♥