I've had a blog before and it failed epically. I've read through my old posts and reading your blog is like reading that blog. So I'm going to say what I wish someone had said to me in my last blog. I say this, not because I am trying to be mean, but because I want to help. If it's something that doesn't help you, then I really am sorry.Okay, first thought was ouch. I felt even worse after reading the comment then I already did posting the blog. I was already putting myself through some pretty extensive self punishment knowing that I SAY I want to accomplish things & don't & what kind of person that makes me. After reading the comment I had to walk away from the computer because my first response would of been to say "You don't know me or what I think & feel.. I already KNOW all of those things & I know it should be important" I felt judged. & I started to question the entirety of this whole journey. See, I've always been the type of person that would rather quit something then to fail at it. If I'm not even trying I can't fail. But after more thought I realized, in many ways she does know me.. not just from reading my blog over the last few months but because she herself has BEEN there. I don't want to set up any false goals that I may not stick to, so I'll go with this. I am going to start tracking again as best as I can. My tracker, tracks food, water & the like, I will also try to take as many photos of anything that goes into my mouth at all. I am in the process of setting up a detailed schedule of my life. With work, school, working out, the kids & quiet time for myself I need to plan or I feel disorganized. I am going to incorporate working out into my schedule & stick to it. I'm thinking I may try to wake up an hour before I need to get ready & get the kids up for work out time.. we will see. I will get it right eventually.
You CAN do this. You have the tools. You know what you have to do! You just need to get off your ass and do it. There are no more excuses. This is not easy, okay? No one said it was going to be easy. 2000 calories a day? You can DO 2000 calories a day. Shit, you can do 1500 calories a day. But whatever your pace is, you have to do it!
I know what it is like to be you. I WAS you. I sat there and made excuses to myself. I must've started over 1000 times. And nothing worked. And I gave up. And I'm back. I BROKE MY ANKLE because too much weight landed on it. I was so fat that I BROKE MY ANKLE! How can you NOT do this?
You weigh almost 300 pounds. That means type 2 diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, polycystic ovary syndrome, compromised pregnancy, dyslipidemia and other complications I just haven't researched yet. When obese people die, their families need to pay extra for a bigger coffin. I KNOW that people say that just losing weight will not make you feel better about yourself, but look at all the things that you are going to prevent.
Please, please, please do this for yourself. No one else will do it for you. Am I hungry sometimes? Sure. Do I want to eat ice cream and chips and Applebee's and everything else? GOD, of course I do. But you know what I want more? To have kids one day. To live long enough to see my grandchildren. To walk down the aisle in a beautiful wedding dress, not wishing to be thinner. To wear a bathing suit at the beach and enjoy myself. To be a better dancer. For a million reasons. You have to do this. You don't have a choice.
I am here for you. Everyone in blogworld is here for you. If you have questions, ask the people that have lost the weight. They know and they've been there. If you want to chew, type instead. Do research. This should be #1 on your list of priorities. This is your health we are talking about.
Anyway, I'm done. I'm just here to tell you that you can do this. WE can do this. I'm sorry if any of this offended you or scared you but I really hope it helped. You're a badass. You can do this.
~erica♥
