Day 88*; Titless. ROFL TITLELESS* I'm leaving that there though cus it's an amusing fail( :

First, I'd like to start off today, with saying that these bad boys to my right are the devil. I was craving them so bad the other night & I passed on the idea of going to get them. BUT THEN! I went to the store the next day & they were staring me right in the face. So I got them, hoping & praying that I could eat them in moderation.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Who the hell was I trying to kid? Ate the whole bag in two sittings, half the bag as one serving & the other have as a 'snack' before bed. I was defeated, and cursing myself as each chip went into my mouth, but of course.. it wasn't enough to stop me. So the self guilt kicked in & I spent the time digesting all the chips wondering why food has such a great power over me?

NUTRITIONIST:

I had to reschedule my appointment, it was supposed to be for this afternoon, but I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW!!! (WOO!) So I had to reschedule it for next week, which kind of disappointing me because I was so looking forward to going. I'm excited to sit down with someone & discuss my diet (what foods I've been eating to date) I plan on bringing my food journal to give a better idea. I'm also excited of the thought of her helping me to determine what foods and food ideas might be. As I stated before, I really do not know what to expect at the nutritionist but I'm so excited about! So we will have to just wait a week & see how it goes (:
WEIGH DAY & MEASUREMENTS COMING SOON!:

This coming Monday, is not only our regularly scheduled weigh day.. it is also the day for me to do my measurements. I didn't do them do last month because the day came & went before I could, so I put it off until this month. I'm slightly nervous about the measurements as I always am because I fear that I wont see ANY loss & be discouraged about it. I'm also VERY nervous about weighing in, lately my weight has been fluctuating so much & I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I haven't been working out or tracking my food & staying on goal. Sometimes I wonder wth is wrong with me. I want this healthy life & weight loss SO badly.. I desire it more than any foods or lazy days when I actually think about it, but then when I'm in the moment of weakness to food or wanting to just lay on the couch they seem to prevail. I've also felt lately, like I can't stop eating! I have 90 calorie snack packs & 100 calorie snack bars and such yet I still tend to overeat. I'll grab 2 packs or 2 bars instead of one.. then a few hours later I want more so I'll grab another 1 or 2.. I disgust myself when I do this although I try to focus on the changing it rather than the disappointment in myself for doing it.

NEW STUFFS! :

I got some new fun items the other day, while I was keeping on track I realized that as far as tablespoons and teaspoon measurements I was guesstimating the amounts, which made me feel like it wasn't even worth it to track because I wasn't being completely accurate. I also decided that I wanted to get a food scale for the same reason. So I've gotten these two lovely devices. I haven't really used them since I've already been so offtrack on my own, but I am planning a re haul on my food tracking & focusing more on being healthy and eating 2000 calories a day. It's always fun buying items towards helping myself stay on track because then when I realized that I've put out the money for it, I feel like I HAVE to use them or I'm just being a moron. LOL I also plan on starting up the whole picture taking of meals to keep me accountable.. AGAIN I know I say and do this a lot, I'm pretty sure some of you are getting sick of my tedious behavior. I have great intentions with enthusiasm.. then I never follow through or just give up on. Believe me when I say I am sick of my tedious behaviors as well, I really would like to say I'm gonna stay on track, be focused, track everything, workout weekly, take these photos & accomplish my goals without a hitch & actually do it.. but it never seems to work that way for me :/

I have more that I want to write about, but I have so many other things to accomplish today so when I find time I will be back! Maybe even two blogs in one day :O could it be?! We shall see!!

~erica♥