So I did it again. I weighed myself today, no change ha. Which i expected.. what I didn't expect is the pull towards the scale. I don't know why I've been checking regularly... I want to get myself situated so that i check maybe once a week. I need to learn to stay away from that bitch. I didn't go over my calories today, but i ate a really unhealthy lunch.. unhealthy like 690calories alone.. I kept telling myself to find something better to eat, something not as high cal, but my hands didn't listen to my head very well. It is getting a little harder, but at the same time not? Confusing. I know. I'm starting to crave things I shouldn't be having, then i think about it and the long run and what's more important to me? The meal from McDonalds with the amazing fries, or my self esteem, my confidence, my HEALTH? In result of this, I think I'm going to start giving myself one free day, to eat without paying attention to the calories.. in moderation of course. I just don't want to feel restricted in this, I want to be able to do this the whole way & not just set myself up for possible failure... If i have 1 free day a week, i can look forward to that and get the cravings down for the rest of the week.
So, I need to decide on a 'weigh day' for the week, as well as an 'off day' and stick to them just as much as i stick to my health journey. I think it would make more sense, for my off day, to be the day after weigh day? Hmm.
On a better note, I worked out today! I was so proud of myself, I almost talked myself out of it but i went for it. I walked/power walked for 20 minutes. In the big scheme of things i guess that doesn't seem like much, but for someone who rarely works out, let alone does much physical activity it was great. I was actually excited about it once I got changed into workout wear, I was only going to walk for a shorter while than that, but when i got to a certain street and my choices were to turn down that one & finish sooner or walk another block up & take longer.. i chose to walk another block. It felt great! & while i was out, i saw two other people jogging/power walking.. I don't know why but it made me giggle. Knowing that they could have once been where i am?.
I've only been at this for 3 days really, and I'm already feeling better on the inside. It may be all mental but either way, I love it. I find myself wanting to exert myself more during the daytime. I want to walk up and down the stairs several times to get things, i want to walk out to the curb to take out the garbage, i want to park farther away from the grocery store so i can walk just that little bit longer. I sit and watch tv and do leg lifts, or work some kind of muscles. I have more energy then i have in a long time and it feels good. Like i said, this could all be mental but does that really matter if it's getting the job done? I may or may not just be getting REALLY into this and as time passes find myself getting lazier, I hope that isn't the case.. but I've gone into this knowing it's going to take time & hard work. I have no illusions about this.. and I'm still excited :)
erica♥
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